in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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