Yo dont text me then not text me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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