Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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