There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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