I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
