Duck Duck Cougar?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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