In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
