addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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