I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
