he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I will be naked everywhere
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
