Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In America we eat man semen.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
