Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a hot homeless man
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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