Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
