We're like a lot better than the average bears
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
organizing the empties. That sober.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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