i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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