My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
