rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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