Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
