Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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