these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
NoShamevember. You game?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
