How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
accomplished twins. life is a go
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
