Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
