Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
