You made me cry and you don't even care
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
