he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
