Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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