totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize