I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize