I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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