Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
