R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
