There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
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You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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