we're blogging at a bar
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
