I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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