Your mouth is God's brothel.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
