More tranny stories later!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
