Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm both gender and math confused
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
