respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize