did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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