I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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