I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
