What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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