My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
