I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
