She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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