At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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