Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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