She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
