3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
