Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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