she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
