i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
