I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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