he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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