Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
