I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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